


slowly, but surely

by XEPAVLIKOVSKY



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: F/M, Fluff, School, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:54:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29857689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XEPAVLIKOVSKY/pseuds/XEPAVLIKOVSKY
Relationships: Boris Pavlikovsky/Lav Decker, Boris Pavlikovsky/Lavendar Decker, Lav Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky, Lavendar Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky, OC/Boris Pavlikovsky
Kudos: 2





	slowly, but surely

The room seems quiet, though it’s full of the ruckus of sophomores, chatting away as the front desk in the class is empty. Boris has his head sitting in his hand, bored out of his mind; Lav and Theo unfortunately aren’t in his class. It was always so boring without them, like the room was basically empty. The loud chatter of the other kids fails to access the ears of Boris, while he concentrates on ignoring every noise that came out of the prepubescent waste aways’ mouths. The desk is cold against his elbow, a clock ticking in the distance giving him goosebumps with the temperature. The leather haired boy tilted his head in a slight, his focus transferring to the pencil that lay next to his arm. Slowly but surely, he glides his fingers down to the desk to pick it up; the world around him had disappeared now. He grabs his notebook from the edge of the desk and flips it open, flipping to one of the last pages and tearing it out, in hopes that the other children wouldn’t mind the noise. His hope is the world’s command. He’s aware the teacher won’t be back for a little while; he begins writing on the page, taking his sweet time, like he has every minute in the world to write whatever he wants. No punishment for being overdue, nothing similar. He begins writing down the name of a familiar girl he had known for a few months; Lavendar Decker, popularly known as “the fat girl” by many. However, as he gets sucked into the world of words and letters in his little page, he replaces “Decker” with “Pavlikovsky”. This makes him incredibly happy, so he smiles to himself and attempts not to giggle out loud like he usually would. He overuses exclamation points after it, hearts filling a few spaces around the words. He feels his face heat up; that damn ruby blush rushing to his cheeks like athletes, and he puts his other hand on his cheek to balance the heat with a chill. The clock is still ticking, and the children are still blabbering away, yet he’s in his own blank space, caught up in thoughts of a life with Lav; growing up together, graduating, marriage, maybe even children, if Lav wants to. She would sometimes talk about how she was afraid to have children if relevant, but Boris wasn’t aware that, if she would be having them with him, her fear would simmer down profusely. Yet, even with obvious tension, her fear of him finding out, and immediately fleeing from the scene out of disgust, was stronger than any other fear she’d kept inside of her, balled up together to hide away from how strong the one specific fear was. 

In the blink of an eye, the world had gone back to normal; color restored and clock still ticking, but the other students were silent now. Boris drops his pencil lightly, rolling down onto the page as he slowly looks up and realizes, class had finally begun. That crimson flush drained down to the depths of his body, replaced with chills as the thoughts of the girl he’d fell in love with withered away like a dust bunny. He looks down at his paper and still gets a sense of joy as he traces over all the little things he wrote. In time, the page was filled with little doodles and words; ‘L + B’ on every corner, little nicknames like ‘bunny rabbit’ and ‘my sun’ spread out in all his different languages, an ‘I love her smile!!!’ thrown onto a blank space near the replaced last name, accompanied by a ‘Maybe I love her?’ as if it wasn’t obvious. Even Boris didn’t know he was in love with her; he thoughts it was only a crush. But he would find out how deeply in love with her he truly is— slowly, but surely. 

Despite the teacher’s speaking, he zoned out into all those little thoughts he was having before. Fantasies about a wedding, with Theo and all of Lav’s friends accompanying. How, one day, all those nights he spent, curled up over his pillow with his eyes shut tighter than a chip clip or a squeezed fist, his face like a tomato while his head runs wild with thoughts of Lav’s smile, eyes, face, hair, absolutely anything and everything about her stuffing up in his mind, feeling as if he could explode from the love he has for her in his heart and all those thoughts in his brain, would pay off and spill out when he can finally confess his feelings. 

“Boris.” He snaps up from his zone, his little black eyes peeking up from the world below him, staring at his teacher while his heart pounds in his chest; he felt as if it could flip out of his body right then and there. He pants a bit, while a few kids in the corner of the class snicker at his failure to pay attention. “Have you been asleep?” The teacher asserts, waiting for a response while other children choke out laughter. Boris shakes his head; “No.” he mumbles, fiddling with his fingers out of nervousness. This wasn’t the first time one of his teachers caught him zoned out, but he had never really gotten distracted until Lav came along. He frequently found himself lost in thoughts of her, and all the things they do together, all the things he wants to do together. He wasn’t sure if Lav had felt the same way— but she did. So greatly, that it had even scared her sometimes. The two of them were coming closer and closer to finally pouring out their emotions to one another. Slowly, but surely.


End file.
